It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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