I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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