Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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