Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
