so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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