Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
