i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
