I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
