My friends, they love my intelligence
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
