so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize