Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
