im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
