party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
