I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
