I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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