I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
