I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
