last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
