Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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