I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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