I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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