Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Are we still banned from the library?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
