i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
