He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
