talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
