Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
