she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize