I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
