4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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