dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just found puke in my bra..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
