Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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