Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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