Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
