Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
