How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
