You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just shotgunned beers for America
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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