Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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