She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
