I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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