You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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