is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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