you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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