How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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