i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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