I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
