i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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