Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
