we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
