Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
