I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
