The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
