i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
