You smell like a Billy Joel song
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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