Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
